Self-Empowerment through Setting Boundaries

Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode

Kindness is not a sign of weakness. Whether it is a personal or professional relationship, respect and communication should be the forefront of your intentions. In moments of friction, I tend to react--call it a side-effect of being a passionate individual. But as the fumes from my ears begin to subside, I'm learning how important it is to have compassion, and make efforts to understand the person on the other side.

The way we act in complex situations will ultimately determine the outcome of the relationship. Don't say something you'll regret tomorrow.  Empower yourself by speaking up for what you want. Know what your limits are, and take the time to gain some clarity so that said limits can be discussed in a calm, non-combative manner. Be easy. Be easy to work with, so that this client will come back and work with you again. People will respect you more when you stand up for yourself, and even more so when you can communicate your frustrations without verbally attacking them. We make the mistake of assuming we are right and people should understand our opinion, but it's obvious that not everyone shares the same mindset. Take a moment to shed some light, use your words gently to create an outcome that is ideal for you. Create the life you want to live. Difficult situations are what molds an individual. In times of tension, I hope these words can guide you to be diplomatic and triumphant!

Trousers: Uniqlo (similar)

Boots: Public Desire

Hat: Forever 21

Top: Groceries Apparel (organic/recycled materials sourced and made in Los Angeles!)

Photos by: Shane Menez

Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode
Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode
Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode
Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode
Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode
Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode
Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode
Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode
Uniqlo wide leg cropped trousers forever 21 cabby hat newsboy hat rebecca minkoff julian backpack groceries apparel top public desire janine over the knee boots maiden lane victoria ly victorialamode

xo, victoria

Dating Fail

It felt like my moment had come, like I had struck gold. The perfect man was infatuated by me. He complimented parts of me I've always wanted someone to notice. He made me feel exquisite, sometimes even divine. It's such a high to find someone you adore and admire, and for them to feel the same for you. It’s been a while since I’ve felt a connection this magnetic. 

It's wild how so much of life is subjective. How we give meaning and credence to the things we wish to believe. He had me meet his sister, invited me to her wedding abroad, called me pet names his family called him and told me I was everything he's ever wanted. He shared parts of his dark past with whom he's only told a few. 

Now, to a normal person, that's special. Right? These aren't things people share openly, right? I must be different, right? Perhaps the acts I gave meaning to are meaningless to him. 

Our love was playful, funny and passionate. The symptoms were so euphoric, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I didn't see the clues he dropped to hint this wasn't serious. But in hindsight, I could count the ways. 

We only see what we want to see, and I pray next time I would see what is there in plain sight. Is it true that if it feels too good to be true, it is? Isn't that such a degrading outlook? That we don't deserve an outcome beyond what is acceptable?

He said he was never committed to me, and I called him out on misleading me. To my surprise, he never responded. I didn't even deserve a response? 

Did I even matter? Was any of it real? Was it just for show? 

I know what I felt. And I find it hard to believe I was disillusioned. Perhaps it was best that it ended. He began to reveal a darker side, troubled and depressed. But he didn't want my help. You get what you give, and my love is bold and bright. We were on different pages. 

Look for consistency. And remember what you are. Hang onto that and don't let anyone inside of your bubble. Make your bubble indestructible. Because you are the only one that matters. Focus on your goals and everyone else is secondary. You have the power to shape your world. 

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xo, victoria

How to Make Your Dreams Come True

It's easy to wish for things we want, but are you truly prepared to receive them? We all know someone who wants to find a better job, but is disinclined to freshen up their résumé. Someone who yearns for a meaningful relationship, but is still friendly to the fuckboys. Do your part and make the necessary arrangements to ensure your lifestyle is aligned with the life you want it to be. We get one life, why not make it extraordinary? Have the courage to believe that you can have what you truly want!

Photos by: Shane Menez

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xo, victoria

Keepsake Stolen Hearts Dress

Feeling extra feminine in this sweetheart cut. Every girl needs an LBD or five. I'm the type to find a occasion for the dress, and not the other way around. If there's anything I love more than ice cream, it is a shapely garment--so this structured dress via Boutique Dandelion was a must-have! Seamed sweetheart cups, a peplum skirt and slit to tie it all together. Oh, you fancy huh?

Keepsake is based out of Australia and one of my favorite brands. In the past few years, Aussie brands have terms of cut, style and quality. Shop this dress and more from a beautifully curated collection at Boutique Dandelion.

Captured by: Jared Veloria

 

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xo, victoria